Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder has been diagnosed in approximately 87.6% of all boys under the age of 13. I know this because I have worked in cub scouts. I don’t know the statistics for girls, but I suspect it’s something like 0.876%. They have other diseases, like cooties for example, according to experts. I also know this from working in cub scouts. But both of these facts are irrelevant to my point: adults who suffer from ADHD are obnoxious and a scourge to many in modern society.
Take “Geoff.” He does suffer from adult ADHD, which means he paces a lot during meetings, can’t listen to more than the first sentence or two of any conversation, including his own, and frequently forgets things that everyone else seems to remember with a great deal of clarity. It also means he has a hard time looking at his latest epiphany in the context of a bigger strategy. At one time, this would also have been diagnosed as MBD, Minimal Brain Dysfunction. Either way, Geoff needs Methylphenidate, commonly known as Ritalin.
Let me illustrate the ill-effects of an unmedicated Geoff:
Geoff: I am planning to hire this guy. He is a former consultant from Deloitte & Touche and knows banking.
Me: Oh, okay. What is he going to do?
Geoff: I don’t know yet.
While I realize that there are negative side-effects to any medication, I am prepared to let Geoff suffer them for the greater good of society. Anything to stop this modern scourge that afflicts so many otherwise innocent co-workers.
Please.
Thursday, June 25, 2009
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I suspect this problem is wide spread in the banking industry. Maybe we can medicate the water in the fountains.
ReplyDeleteI can't say whether I have adult ADHD (when did they throw that extra H in there?) or whether I just got bored easily. If the world were more like those Transformer movies, I would pay closer attention.
ReplyDeleteApparently, ADD seemed too positive, like you were really good at math, so everyone started having it. It was the new black, before there was black. When medical professionals realized that a terrible behavioral disorder had become trendy, they added the H (Hyperactivity), to make it less trendy. Unfortunately, those that could pay attention, thought Hyperactivity was a great weight-loss plan (this was pre-Atkins) and also decided to try it, making the whole effort pointless.
ReplyDeleteIt seems society is always striving to assign negative connotations to male "disorders". In an older day and age ADHD would never have been noticed much less "treated" and would probably have been viewed as a positive trait. Rather than have Geoff work in an office, couldn't he do work that would better accommodate his personality? Our society today places too much importance on lethargic, static personalities that desire little to no movement. Hence why it is forced on children in school and later in the workplace.
ReplyDeleteMatt-
Actually Ritalin acts as an upper for adults. So in your friend Geoff he would become extremely hyperactive and very ineffective. It has the same basic ingredients as meth. For some reason it has the opposite effect on children. However, one reason there is an uprise in diagnosed ADHD is because there are a lot of parents who want to sell their kids' Ritalin for its street value...as I said some common basic ingredients as meth. Isn't it charming to know that we give small children a drug that is basically meth, a C-II drug, (a drug that is in the highest addictive potential category that is still legal).
ReplyDelete-Lisa
Is there any chance that the Ritalin would make him so hyperactive that he begins emitting smoke from various orifices and then explodes? He already has the "very ineffective" part down. And being able to sell the used portion of the prescription is an added bonus that would help mitigate the damage to co-workers.
ReplyDeleteYes. Ritalin induced spontaneous self combustion is common. I hope you mean to give Ritalin recovery money to people appropriately. You know, the highest percentages given to those who've endured the most abuse and so on and so forth. Of course then you might get someone calling the ACLU for discrimination.
ReplyDelete-Lisa