The Truth Comes Out

Child #0 was forced to get his own e-mail address and blog earlier this year as part of his English class (it's called "Language Arts" now, but that's giving them far too much credit). Child #0 now considers himself an expert on blogging and after reviewing my blog posts surmised that I "blog about the problems of evil children" and left out the "problems of evil parents." I told him he could take up that cause in his blog, but that I would be reading it and I still control his access to a computer. (This is not censorship; up until recently this has worked for many despotic regimes in the Middle East.)

This lead to a robust discussion of all of the various things I had blogged about over the past couple of years. To wit: when an assignment is due the next morning and you haven't started it, the most effective strategy is to endure the lectures on responsibility, hard work & video games; make a very poor showing of it with minimal effort; and wait for the irate parent to say "Let me show you how I would do it" or if they are very angry, "Here." Then simply copy exactly what they say as an example.

Child #0 assures me that this is a very effective strategy. He also reminded me of the time earlier this year when he put off a history report until ten minutes before the bus arrived. (He got an A-.) The moral of the story? Give yourself at least fifteen minutes.

Child #0 has requested that I provide a link to his blog, which I will do in the interest of journalistic balance and in keeping with the "fairness" doctrine. I'm not sure that will help. He is my best argument.